Safe and Sound Ch. 2

The young prince Thorin refused to sleep. In his lap lay his sister, Dis. The embers reflected in his eyes; reflected the betrayal and loss. And for the time, the night remained silent and still.

"Fili…?"

. . .

"Fili?"

Maybe if he just lay really still.

"Fili."

"Oof!"

Fili rolled over to face Kili who looked incredibly unimpressed by his brother's attempts to ignore him. He felt his brother's boot pull away from his side.

"Kili, sleep. We have much traveling to do tomorrow." Fili didn't want to entertain the idea of listening to Kili whine while they traveled to the Blue Mountains.

Fili began to roll over again but there was a second swift boot to the side to stop him. Why even try?

"Kili what is it?" He squinted into the dark. Kili's eyes were a little glassier than usual. Aulë dammit.

"I can't sleep." Kili's bottom lip popped out just a little. At this point Fili wondered just how unaware Kili was about his appearances

"Aren't you tired?" Fili implored, raising his eyebrows just a bit. "We did a lot of-"

"Running?" Kili raised his eyebrows back at his brother. "Is that what you were going to say?"

"Traveling," corrected Fili.

"By… running."

"Either way we moved," Fili said quickly, trying to dismiss his brother's point.

"Fili. Kili." Both brothers snapped their heads to see their uncle glaring at them. He would be having none of their shit today. They lowered their heads sheepishly.

"Just try to sleep, Kili. Please."

"I-I can't. Every time I close my eyes I see that dragon. I see all that fire. Our kin burned before our eyes, Fili!" At this point Kili was nearly yelling.

"Kili!" Thorin barked, causing Kili to instantly slink deeper into his coat.

"How are you so okay?" Kili whispered to his brother, throwing glances at his uncle every now and then.

"What?" Fili looked back at Thorin as well.

"You're so calm." It was then that Fili came to realize just how much Kili looked up to him. Maybe he knew all along, but just never came to terms with it. How odd it felt being a role model.

"Well someone has to be," Fili looked away, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"Teach me," Kili was filled with a renewed fire, one that had been extinguished all day. "I want to be okay, too."

Such an odd turn of phrase: I want to be okay, too. Kili kept making it sound like Fili was okay. How could he be okay with losing their life so suddenly? The truth of the matter was that he was not okay.

"I'm not," Fili looked at his brother, frowning.

"Not what?"

"Okay."

"Oh."

The brothers shifted their gazes: Kili looked up at the sky, the stars veiled in clouds and smoke, while Fili looked towards the ground, dry and sprinkled with ashes. The two didn't speak for some time, however it was Kili who broke the silence.

"Will we ever be okay?"

The eldest brother shot a look at Kili that hovered somewhere between confusion and fear. He did not know, nor could he even begin to guess an answer. But for Kili's sake, he had to.

"Y-Yeah," Fili started, feeling his voice get caught in his throat. He coughed and tired again. "Yeah, of course we will. Just… Just not now."

"Oh," Fili sighed, thinking that his brother's curiosity was finally quelled. "When do you think that'll be?"

Oh Kili.

"Hey, come here," Fili unfolded his arms from under his coat and reached out to his brother.

Kili looked at the inviting gesture and rolled into it, stopping as his back hit his brother's chest. Fili folded his arms and coat over the both of them, enveloping them in warmth. The sense of familiarity Fili yearned for came to him as he held Kili close. The uncertainties that plagued Kili were fended off by Fili's arms. It was in that moment that they, somehow, felt okay.

As long as they were together, they would be okay.

"Fili?"

"Hmm?" Sleep was quickly starting to take him and he fought to keep himself awake.

"Can you sing that thing?" Kili turned his head to look up at his brother whose eyes were already closed.

"Mmm, what thing?" Fili opened one eye to look at his brother. "Oh, you mean that thing."

Kili nodded, still looking at his brother with those pleading eyes. Fili sighed heavily before giving a great yawn. He was in no shape to sing, let alone remember the words to a song he sang nearly 2 years ago. But as he began to remember the melody, images of Dale came rushing back to him, simultaneously filling him with homesickness and leaving him feeling empty. Lyrics were no longer the problem. It appeared Kili would get his song after all.

"Don't you dare look out your window, darling. Everything's on fire," Fili looked at the the smoldering charcoal, remembering their favorite stalls catching fire, the colorful streamers that were always festooned across the marketplace igniting like fuses.

"The war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold on to this lullaby," Kili's eyes began to droop. He also thought about home, but not as Fili did. He remembered getting his first bow from a stall run by an old hunter. He remembered running under rays of tinted sunlight with his brother. "Even when the music's gone."

"Just close your eyes. The sun is going down," Fili remembered the scorching heat of the flames rebounding off the mountain's walls and, too, closed his eyes. "You'll be alright. No one can hurt you now."

"Come morning light," Kili felt his brother's arms wrap tighter around him just as he fell into his sleep. Fili buried his face into his brother's tangled, messy hair, smelling the singed ends. The smell quickly dissipated as tears began to collect in Fili's eyes.

"You… You and I'll be safe and sound."

This was the last time Fili would sing his brother's lullaby. However, he would hear it just one more time.